4 min read
The Feedback Gap: Bridging Feeling and Thinking at Work
Not all appreciation sounds the same—and for some people, that difference can feel personal.
If you have a preference for Feeling (F) in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, you’re likely attuned to relationships, encouragement, and the emotional tone of interactions. Positive feedback isn’t just a “nice to have”—it’s often part of how you stay motivated, connected, and confident in your work. So when you report to someone with a Thinking (T) preference, who offers little praise outside of formal settings, it can feel like something is missing—or worse, that your efforts aren’t valued.
Before taking that conclusion to heart, it’s worth reframing what’s actually happening.
Leaders with a Thinking preference tend to prioritise logic, outcomes, and efficiency. Their feedback style is often oriented toward improvement rather than affirmation. If something is working well, they may simply see it as expected —and therefore not comment on it. Silence, in their mind, can mean “all good.”
Praise is more likely to appear in structured moments, like performance reviews, where they deliberately step back and assess contributions more holistically.
This isn’t a lack of appreciation. It’s a difference in expression.
Understanding that distinction can be liberating. It allows you to separate intent from impact—and to avoid internalising a style mismatch as a personal slight.
That said, awareness alone doesn’t always meet your need for encouragement. The next step is to take a more active role in shaping how you receive feedback, without expecting your manager to fundamentally change who they are.
One practical approach is to make your need visible—but in a way that aligns with their preferences. Rather than asking broadly for “more praise,” anchor your request in outcomes and performance. For example:
“It helps me stay on track when I know what’s working well—could you flag when I’m meeting expectations, not just when something needs adjusting?”
“I’d really value quick feedback on what’s going right in this project, so I can build on it.”
This frames positive feedback as a tool for effectiveness, not reassurance—making it easier for a Thinking-oriented manager to engage.
You can also create your own feedback loops. Instead of waiting for spontaneous praise, ask specific, timely questions:
“What part of that presentation landed best for you?”
“Is there anything in that report you’d want me to replicate next time?”
These questions guide your manager toward recognising strengths, while still operating in their natural, analytical style.
It’s also useful to broaden your sources of feedback. While your manager plays a key role, they don’t have to be the only voice. Peers, mentors, and stakeholders often provide richer, more immediate recognition. Building a wider network of input not only meets your need for encouragement—it gives you a more balanced and accurate picture of your impact.
Equally important is strengthening your own internal measure of success. This doesn’t mean ignoring feedback, but rather not relying on a single style of it to validate your contribution. Keep a record of what’s going well: projects completed, challenges handled, positive outcomes achieved. Over time, this becomes a steady counterbalance to any perceived silence.
Finally, take formal appraisal moments seriously. If your manager tends to concentrate praise there, treat it as valuable data. Capture it, revisit it, and don’t dismiss it simply because it isn’t delivered frequently. For a Thinking-oriented leader, those moments are often carefully considered and genuinely meant.
At its core, this dynamic isn’t about one style being better than the other. It’s about translation.
When you understand how appreciation is encoded differently, you can stop reading absence of praise as absence of value. And when you learn to ask for what you need in a way the other person can hear, you create a more balanced exchange—one that supports both effectiveness and wellbeing.
You don’t need to change your preference for encouragement. But with a little adjustment in how you interpret and seek feedback, you can ensure that it reaches you—just in a form that might look different from what you expected.
If you are interested to find out more about your Myers Briggs Personality Profile and/or you’d like to explore the impact of Personality on Team Dynamics, book a discovery call.