6 min read

How Leaders with a Thinking (T) Preference can give feedback that land to someone with a Feeling (F) Preference

Using Myers Briggs personality profile indicators (MBTI) can be a really useful way to ensure that the feedback you give is tailored towards the person receiving it rather than the kind of feedback you like to give and receive.

People with a Thinking (T) preference are objective and logical thinkers and tend to not need much feedback. They have a strong internal feedback mechanism and they know when they have done a good job. A simple ‘thank you’ from someone they hold in high regard can often be enough for them (but perhaps not the best for their continuous improvement and development, they probably do need more detailed feedback over time).

People with a Feeling (F) preference seek harmony and see people as unique individuals (they have high empathy). They need positive reassurance and affirmation before they can focus and hear the more developmental feedback. They have a strong external antenna and in a void of communication they will search for and [mis]interpret others words and actions as feedback.

Giving feedback to someone with a Feeling (F) preference, when you have a Thinking (T) preference, requires bridging the gap between logic-driven analysis and value-driven communication. Because individuals with an F preference appreciate harmony and care about personal impact, they may need to process feedback emotionally before acting on it.

Here is how those with a T preference can effectively give feedback to those with an F preference:

1. Structure the Conversation (The "How-To")

• Use the Clean Feedback Model: Start with ‘what has gone well’ (even if it is only a little thing), then ‘what has not gone so well’, and end with ‘what they could do differently’ leading them to action. Ensure the praise is sincere, as F types can detect disingenuous "sandwiches".
  Focus on Evidence, Not Character: Tell them what you have seen or heard, give them specifics and recent examples.

• Own your Inferences: then tell them what you have inferred or assumed and check in with them. Find out their inferences and what they think happened.

• Discuss the Impact: this could be on them, their role, their reputation, your relationship or trust in them or a wider impact on the team, product or organisation.

• Allow for Dialogue: Feedback should be a two-way conversation. Ideally ask them to feedback on themselves first. With some curious questioning, they may know already know or realise quickly what they need to do differently. And, you’ll get some useful data on them and how they see themselves, their role and performance.

2. Tailor the Content (What to Say) 

• Highlight the Human/Team Impact: Explain how the suggested changes will benefit them, their team, or the harmony of the workplace.

• Balance Logic with Empathy: While T types value raw data, F types appreciate hearing why a change matters to people.
  Acknowledge Their Contribution First: Before correcting, show appreciation for their effort to validate their work, which helps them receive constructive criticism better. 

3. Adjust the Tone and Environment 

• Be Mindful of Tone and Timing: Choose a private, comfortable setting rather than a public or abrupt one. Better still ask them first “I have some feedback for you, when is a good time to discuss it?”

• Use a Warm, Gentle Tone: Avoid being overly blunt or detached, which can be interpreted as personal hostility by F types.

• Give Time for Processing: F types may need to process feedback emotionally before they can rationally act on it. Do not push for an immediate, cold, logical agreement. 

4. What to Avoid (Tips for the T-Type)

• Don't dismiss feelings: Acknowledge them by repeating them. F types can process their emotions and move on quickly if they have a space to say them out loud.

• Don't rush to problem-solve: Instead of immediately offering a technical fix, listen to their perspective first.

• Don't be unnecessarily blunt: While T types value directness, F types often see excessive bluntness as a lack of respect. 

Summary

By adjusting the approach to be more collaborative and empathetic, Thinkers can provide valuable feedback that Feelers can hear and act upon without responding sensitively.